Got into work late but only 15 minutes or so, not bad. Went to get my morning coffee. Straight to the express lane I go. Small orders and beverages only. Except this morning a lady had out a list of coffee orders and donut orders, because a random dozen just wouldn't do. In her confusion, possibly the first time she's ever ordered a coffee, she stole the coffee's of the two people before her. 20 minutes later and I'm at my desk. Which on any other day would be okay but this morning there were urgent emails waiting! An urgency (my way or saying emergency for non-emergency things) ... something I needed to look at right away. As I begin to type my finger really hurts. I lift and turn my hand to see a nasty paper cut looming across my finger. Still I type away. It took most of the morning to hash out the issues. Wasn't something I did, it was an external problem but it still took all morning. All this and it isn't even lunch yet, and I know I have to drive across town at lunch for an appointment. Sigh.
SO why am I writing about all of this? Well because I feel just fine! I didn't panic or go crazy when I was late. I didn't swear at the cyclist or the school bus. Not even the lady in the parking lot with the insensible shoes. I parked and enjoyed my morning 3 block walk in the brisk air. I was giggling on the inside at the coffee lady. She was clearly not having a good morning and was doing her best to make it worse, even though it was just coffee and donuts. As for the work incidents. I got it all figured out and resolved. Sure I didn't get to work on what I had planned but I will do that later. As for the pants ... luckily for me it isn't super visible, or maybe lucky for everyone else rather. :P I can't make it home at lunch so it'll be a bit of an airy day of doing my best not to make it worse/visible. The pants are a year old and I only have 2 pair of casual business work pants so that's not a bad run. I'd already torn one of the cuffs on this pair so it was nearing that time anyway. Made me laugh. I wanted to share it with friends ... as I often do those sorts of things. Perks their day up as well.
It might've sounded like I started to describe one of those annoying "bad" days. One of those days where you feel the stress, anger or annoyance build. Except that isn't what happened. As I sit here writing I feel quite content. I'm none of those things. In fact if anything those things, spruced up my morning! I found a bit of humour in them and actually, in a way, enjoyed them. I don't have some super powers. One of the ladies at work this morning commented she'd find it hard to see me ever get riled up. She'd be right, but it wasn't always that way. Its been something I've been working on for a long time. Its part of my daily practice. Okay now I'm starting to sound like a yogi. I am a yogi. My practice is to get to know myself and be a better or closer realization of who I am and who I want to be every day. Its days like today that can test that. Its days like today that can show me my progress. We learn who we are through experience, through feeling and we can also learn who we want to be. Just like that handstand, it doesn't happen with one attempt. it doesn't happen overnight. its a practice. you may have to do thousands of handstand practices before you get your first handstand. The rest of your life is no different. The exciting part is that it doesn't end. When you get your first handstand, yoga isn't done, handstands are done. There is always more to explore and more to learn and do. Sometimes though its nice to see your progress. The handstand in the middle of the room or maybe that crazy day that turned out to not be so crazy after all!