SCOTT'S YOGA

Mini Pops? Yes the Mini Pops. I'm dating myself but the Mini Pops were my first introduction to current rock music. I lived in a small town growing up, very small, less than 1000 people. Of course I didn't really know it was small, or for that matter, limited in any way. Up until that point I had really only listened to the "rock" music of my parents. This was my first contemporary rock music. Kid's singing popular rock songs. I stared over and over at that cassette cover as I listened to the songs over and over on my knock off Walkman cassette player. (It was super cool, it was white and had a strap to carry it over the shoulder and two detachable speakers (stereo!) ... for when I wanted to rock out! 4 double A batteries and I was a rock star on the move!)

My favorite song on the album was easily "Video Killed the Radio Star". Play, Stop, Rewind, Play Again. I'm surprised I didn't wear the cassette out entirely. At the time I was mesmerized by the song and the cover art. These kids, no older than me had somehow managed to land a gig where they had released an album and got to dress up in super fancy costumes! I didn't have access to videos where I lived. We had 3 channels and you had to have a motorized antenna on your house to accomplish that (or crawl up there an move it yourself)! So no MTV or MUCH music for me. My medium? The TV commercial. That was as close as I got to watching videos.

I don't recall exactly how we got the cassette but I can guess it went something like this. A TV commercial showing clips of videos of the kids singing modern rock songs. A trip to the nearest city and the K-Mart/Zellers and actually seeing the cassette in the store. Then pleading with the parents to buy it for you. I think we had 3 different Mini Pops cassettes in total, but it was this one and Video Killed the Radio Star in particular that struck me. I was a latch key kid so TV (Video) was raising me and I found the lyrics particularly poignant, even if I was only 8ish. It made sense to me. My parents loved radio but to me radio was dead, long live TV! The song was sad but with a catchy beat. I could see the "figurative" radio star actually dying. At the same time my mind would swirl with pictures all sequenced together in my own video. I wanted to sing, I wanted to dress up and be in a video, I wanted to be a Mini Pop, or maybe for the first time I wanted to be a rock star.

Thanks for sharing but what does any of this have to do with Yoga or Acro Yoga, you ask? The more I explore movement, the more I perform and teach classes my brain goes back to that little kid. Now as an adult I'm playing out those same visions in real life. When I was a kid it was all about my imagination. Where I lived there were no such opportunities. The Mini Pops was something I could only imagine, nothing I could ever actually do. Sure I'm not singing, I'm not a rock star, but I am an artist. I'm learning to dance, I'm learning how to choreograph not only Acro but dance too! Putting it all to music, in my very own "music video". I'm playing! I'm playing just like I did as a kid. One of those rare full circle moments in life. Sure its just a hobby for me. I have a day job and find it hard to believe I could ever support myself with play enough to ever fully leave it. What is important though is that I do it at all. To me yoga and Acro yoga especially are like play. For the first time as an adult I find myself reminded of being a kid and just playing. If you go to any kid and say "go play", they inherently know what that means. At least I did as a kid. As an adult? If you had asked me to "go play", I'd have said, "Play what?". Now in some way I've recaptured play in my life. Not only play but those same dreams and videos that would run in my head.

I remember coming up with my own "video" routines where I'd lip sync and move around to tell a story to some of my favourite songs. One of those songs was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Mini Pops. In fact it wasn't until I was in university and had moved to the "big" city that I finally had access to MUCH music and saw/heard the real song/video. It struck a memory yet to my head didn't sound quite right. Not quite right because the Mini Pops cover was what was instilled in my memory. Now my adulthood gives me access to that same play and thanks to the miracle of Youtube I can finally see the whole Mini Pops video for Video Killed the Radio Star that I only ever glimpsed in commercials.

I remember that kid. The way that kid thought and dreamed. Now that I'm "all grown up", those same things that interested and intrigued that little kid, I'm doing as an adult. I didn't get here on purpose either which, maybe for me, makes it even more poignant. Rather I stumbled here in anything but a straight path and only now after having been on this path for 6 years (and likely longer) am I just starting to see where I am and how much it resembles many of those same things that little kid dreamt about. I say "many" because I still haven't been able to figure out how to change into He-Man, or get my vehicle to transform into an awesome robot, or manage to raise 6 million dollars to get the bionics implanted in my body to make me a super hero! A guy can still dream though!

​When I introduce myself to a new class I often make some joke about how this is the first time I've done acro too, but don't worry I watched some youtube videos before I got here! It's one of my favorite jokes! Then I usually tell the truth, or at least I try. I usually pick a number of years, for instance "I've been practicing acro for 3 years and teaching for 2.". However whenever I do that I feel like I've been saying 3 years for, well, a lot of years. My point is I don't really remember. Some of my longer running students will ask ... didn't you say 3 years last year? Truth is I don't really know. I still feel excited about doing acro and teaching acro and I don't feel like I've been doing it for all that long. Time tends to fly not only in a class but in general when I'm doing acro. So much to learn and so much to try.  I also teach plenty of classes. I've cut back a bit now but I'm currently running at 3 acro classes a week. So I can end up saying the joke a fair bit. It's also my favorite joke, did I mention that?

Today I decided to answer the question once and for all. I start my investigations with pictures! As I trudge through my past pictures I see that they begin to show up in 2013. There are no acro pics in 2012. Well that sounds promising! Although looking at some of the pics, I feel like they couldn't have been that long ago. I know I started in Feb. of some year. It was still winter outside and after a long back and forth of convincing a friend managed to convince me to go to a weekend workshop with her.  I remember a communication exchange. I recall her sending me a youtube video of an acro flow put to music that I was stunned by. I didn't know it could be so ... beautiful. Still from 2013? The only communication I might still have from then is email. Email digging I go! Hmmm ... no luck, I can't find that specific message/video link, but I did find an email from Feb. 2013 talking about practicing acro with my friend and another person we worked with at that first workshop! So there it is! 2013 and its currently 2017 and not quite February. So 3 years is right for the moment but in a couple weeks it will be 4! Mystery solved!

I suppose I got used to thinking in my head now that it had been longer. I've done a lot of things in those 4 years. People have been telling me I must have been doing acro for at least 5 years maybe 6. I started to believe them. Especially when I started to think of all the trips and workshops and classes and performances I've done over the years. I recall asking one of my acro teachers how long he'd been practicing acro. I was amazed by what he could do and how much control over his feet he had and how softly and accurately he could move them. It was one of my first trainings and I was in awe of what he could do. He told me at that time he had been practicing for 6 years. Which blew my mind completely. I remember thinking it seemed like a very long time. At that time I think I was at maybe 2 years. I've taken more trainings with him since then. I've improved my skills vastly and so has he. The things he taught me in that first workshop now feel pretty routine to me. Just as easy as doing a bird pose. At the time I couldn't imagine being at this place, although I knew it was possible. I also knew it was something I could do and wanted to do. It is an achievement.

I continue to practice and teach. I start another beginner session tonight. I've lost track of the number of beginner classes/groups of students I've taught already. I also have my intermediate class of more advanced acro yogis and I have my dance fusion class where I work with a contemporary dance to make acro more like dance and to add acro into dance. Reading that email from 4 years ago I can recall my mind set and where I was in my practice. I remember how far I've traveled.

I know there is no limit to where I can go with this practice. No limit to how much I can learn or do. I've come through serious injury, through changing partners, and almost complete community change-overs. I'm still doing acro. Every time i do it I learn something new, I build something new in my body and brain. Acro is a practice of patience. A practice of repetition, of understanding and learning about your body and other people's bodies. If I could say any one thing about the practice, I would say it takes time, but that time will fly!

​AcroYoga is yoga right? Yes it definitely is but just like any yoga it involves physical movement. When you move your body sometimes you get ... booboo's. Booboo's? I prefer to call the booboos as opposed to injuries because injuries encompasses a much larger range of incidents and is most often associated with the bad ones. Injuries to me include things like torn tissue, broken bones, anything that will keep you from performing your activity or potentially other activities in your life while it heals. Booboos then are the minor things like bumps and bruises and minor sprains that should be tended to but don't keep you from doing the things you enjoy.

So why bother differentiating them at all? Well, because with any physical movement there is the potential for booboos. Ridding a bike, especially for the first time in a season, can lead to some saddle soreness. New to volleyball? Then the ball may leave red marks and bruises on your arms. Running or hiking can leave blisters on your feet. Not to mention any physical exercise can leave you feeling stiff the next day. There can also be more than that. Maybe you trip while walking and scrape your knee. Maybe you are dancing and accidentally step on your partner's foot. There are accidental booboos and ones that are naturally part of the activity. Acro is no exception. Acro has many of those same issues. If you fly you may get redness or bruising on your hips and shoulders at first, like the volleyball player's arms. As a base you may get sore legs, you are holding someone in the air with them. As we learn new things we often over engage or grab. I've had plenty of little round bruises from grabbing fingers, not to mention small cuts and scrapes from finger nails. Maybe you get small petechiae (small red spots on the skin) as a base or flyer from the pressure of someone else on that body part. All of these things are normal while doing acro. I often mention them in my classes to people, especially people when first starting. They are having so much fun they often don't notice and then at home the next day they see small bruises or redness on the hips and think ... ooo that isn't good when its completely normal.

I had lunch earlier this summer with a triathlete and another acro friend. We were talking about all of the small round bruises we had from acro and laughing about it. The triathlete commented "why would you do it if you get all of these bruises? that doesn't seem right.". I was startled a bit by it coming from an such an intense activity person. I then asked her, don't you ever get bumps and scrapes in your races? or maybe swallow some water you rather didn't? Or even just get some blisters? I never get blisters or swallow bad water from doing acro! Only then did she get it. For some reason her booboos were just part of the sport but the acro booboos were troublesome. Its all in the perspective. As we get better at the practice then we are less likely to have some of those booboos, just like the triathlete will likely swallow less bad water. These sorts of booboos can scare people away from an acro practice. We have this concept that we shouldn't feel bad or have booboos in any way, yet its a normal part of any physical activity.

There are however accidents. Certainly you see more than enough of them on youtube when people try acro without any instruction. Still even with proper instruction they can happen. Just last night I was teaching a class. After class one of my students asked for some help with some high standing acro moves. I was tired, I'd just taught two acro classes that night, but I still agreed. we had plenty of spotters and I'd done the move many many times before. I did it first with my regular partner to show the skill, then I did it with her. It was our first time doing it together but we didn't rush and went through it slow. However during the move we bumped heads. She got a nasty bump on the chin and my nose caught the rest. It didn't look too bad but it lead to a bloody nose, which looks worse than it often is. The next day we both felt it and had some nice bruising to go with it. I likely shouldn't have tried it given how tired I was and that she was new to the move. However I'd done it so many times in the past. Yes it could have been avoided but I also could've tripped on the way out of class and ran into a wall with the same effect. Accidents can happen. Its because we were so careful that it only resulted in booboos. Yes I consider those booboos because after a minute my nose stopped bleeding and it really hasn't caused us to stop any physical activity. We spot and use lots of precaution to do our best to avoid booboos but especially injuries. I've had bloody noses from acro before, and bloody lips, a black eye, and this list goes on. I don't let those booboos scare me away. I will likely take just that extra amount of caution next time I do that move but I won't stop doing it. I think its because of some of these booboos acro can get a bad rap. Perhaps because it has "yoga" in the name people get more shocked, however I've seen many of the same booboos in regular yoga. I had a student drop a block on their face and get a black eye. Another was doing forearm stand and got a bloody nose when then came down on their face. Any physical activity can have booboos and I think its a great topic to bring up and talk about in class. We try to avoid the ones we can and lessen the ones we can't but they do happen, its normal, and we shouldn't stop our practice because of it.

Unfortunately more serious injuries can also happen. I'm not going to get into the reasons or the why's of it, rather I want to put it all in some context. As with any movement or sport, the more we know, the more we prepare, and the more precautions we take the less injuries we will have. Make sure you have a spotter or two or three for a move. No spotters around? Maybe you wait until there are to do it. Maybe you have a crash mats. Maybe you have crash mats and spotters. Maybe you take a class or learn from someone more experienced. You always move slowly and methodically through new movements. You take into account your energy levels and your strength and be honest with yourself while still challenging yourself. All of those are great practices to have. Still even with every precaution taken injury can happen. It really stinks when it does but should we blame the activity? Was it instead something we could have prevented? If we did everything we could to prevent and it still happened, it still stinks but its part of life. I had a friend step on a stair wrong with her foot and break her ankle. She was just going to the basement to check the laundry. I've also seen someone break an arm trying to do a standing back flip on their own. I tore the rotator cuff in my shoulder when my base dropped me from star and our spotter had buggered off on us mid pose. I also tore my hamstring tendon and developed a chronic tear because I was pushing myself too hard doing yin yoga and acro. I was literally tearing my body apart over time. It took a concentrated year to heal from that injury. I didn't stop doing acro or yin. I just re-assessed where my body's balance was. At the same time I did what I needed and took the time I needed to heal properly. The very real fear of never being able to do the things I loved scared me into doing the right thing for my body. Now I'm healed and much more aware and still able to enjoy all my activities while always keeping in mind my body's balance.

So don't let the booboo's scare you away. Booboo's happen. We do our best to reduce and prevent them but we don't need to let them scare us away from something we enjoy. Sometimes they can be a blessing as they make us slow down a little and think a little more. So if you take an acro class and you have a couple booboo's don't let it scare you. We've all been right where you are. A sore hip, or even a bloody nose doesn't mean there will be more injury. If you aren't certain though? Ask about it. Is your group being as safe as it could? Ask another acro person, in person or on the web. Maybe its something you can prevent, or maybe you did everything right and sometimes accidents still happen. It never hurts to talk about it and it never hurts to ask questions and explore answers. When I talk about fear or the positive side of facing fear, courage, I'm always reminded of a quote from Nelson Mandella: "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the the triumph over it." Don't let fear get to you, find your triumph over it!

​Many people see yoga teachers with a certain sense of awe. Someone who is knowledgeable and practiced. Someone who is in touch with who they are and has a good handle on their lives. I hate to throw you behind the curtain and to ruin any illusions but that isn't quite true. Often times our stories aren't much different from you. We came to yoga because of a need in our life. Just like you we are working to overcome those issues and improve ourselves. If we were perfect people we wouldn't need to practice.

Over the years I've taught many different styles of yoga in many different locations. The word "teacher" though can be misleading. Its standard practice in our culture today to label someone leading a practice as a teacher. Its a label we learn early on as children when we enter school and it sticks with us. A teacher is in charge, a teacher knows all, a teacher imparts general knowledge onto you. Everyone's definition differs but basically they are all very similar. I am also a certified paddle board instructor and when I'm teaching paddle boarding I'm fine with the teacher label. However when I'm "teaching" yoga I tend to think of myself very differently. Why the difference? When I'm teaching you to paddle I'm teaching you a basic defined set of skills. Those skills allow you to use a paddle board. To get on, to stand up, to balance, to move, to stop and to turn. Basic skills with a basic result. Everyone does the skills a little bit differently but they are basically the same and for the same purpose for everyone. In yoga, any style, i'm not teaching basic skills. Yoga is the practice of quieting the mind. I never sit down in any class and say, okay ... this is step one to quieting your mind. So what am I doing then? I'm showing you my practice. I'm guiding you through the practice I use and ideas I believe that have allowed me to find a quieter place. A quieter place. I haven't perfected my yoga. I never will. Its always going to be a practice. I will always work to be a little bit better. There are so many different ways you can pursue yoga, my knowledge is very limited. It may seem vast in comparison to what you know but yoga is the discovery of the self. You can only discover yourself through yourself. You are your only Guru. My practice may not be your practice. Or maybe only some parts of it will resonate with you. Your goal is to find your own practice. Become your own teacher.

That doesn't mean you take some classes and then you have to go home and do yoga all by yourself. You can do that. Or you can do anything else. Being your own teacher is about discovering what resonates with you. Finding what works and using that as part of your practice. Maybe its an intense asana class, or maybe its a quiet meditation, or maybe its singing or playing music, maybe its walking or running, maybe its reading. The possibilities are endless. An asana class is meant to show you a glimpse of what that peace might feel like. Once you are aware of what the feeling is you can find it anywhere and everywhere. You can begin to cultivate what works for you and build on it. It may develop or change over time and your practice can follow it.

So what is that feeling? I can only tell you what it is for me. I imagine it to be different for everyone. The old line "you know it when you find it" sounds like a lot of wishy washy talk but in my experience it was true. When you feel it you'll know. You'll know because you will feel better. We are feeling machines. We are constantly feeling everything. It is our interface to the world and everything around us. You don't need someone to tell you that you are feeling. If you are happy you know it. If you are hurt you know it. You just feel it. Its a universal language that is inherent to us all. I can't teach you how to feel angry, its something you just feel. This is the same. You will feel better. The only key is being open to it. We certainly all feel but many of us have learned to deny our feelings, to turn them off, to not be open to them. If we don't allow ourselves to feel then we can never feel better.

Still its always a practice. No matter how experienced or educated the teacher they are still practicing to be better, just like you. We are all practicing to be better if we choose to do so and are open to it. So your teacher is on a journey of their own. They are working to find a better self just like you. My practice is still often a struggle for me, full of ups and downs, as things change and I meander down life's path. I'm always practicing to be better. Sometimes I feel better and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm teaching a class and even though it appears that I am peaceful I am struggling inside as well.

Summer is a short season where I live. On average it lasts 4 months at most, maybe only 3. Yes I know according to the season calendar its 3 months, but I define summer as the season of outdoor activity. If the weather is warm enough to be outside without a coat, well then its summer. This year it seems we're getting an early start on summer. It didn't seem too long ago I was writing my goodbye to summer and here I am with a new one at hand. As the weather warms and everything turns green I begin to notice changes in myself. I sleep a little less than I used to. I get up a little earlier and I go to bed a little later. I make more effort to plan or arrange outdoor summer activities. I have a near insatiable urge to be outside as much as possible. I doubt i'm alone in this. With a long winter behind me and knowing another is just around the bend, I've been cooped up too long. I need to get outside and breathe and enjoy! Yet with all this energy and enthusiasm I find another feeling often creeping in on me ... guilt. Seems ridiculous to feel guilty. I don't have time to feel guilty i should be outside enjoying myself! That's exactly where the guilt starts.

Today is the warmest day of the year so far, 32 degrees Celsius in April. A rare event for sure. In fact this early May and late April have been a very early summer. I've been outdoors a lot. I've been busy soaking up the sun and the weather and the outdoor opportunities. Planning and arranging and getting ready for the rest of the summer. Yet today I find myself tired. I feel like I could use a nap and I likely need one. I've been pushing the summer fun fast and furious with this early opportunity. Yet an evening at home alone with nothing specific to do, something I cherish and enjoy, now brings me a feeling of guilt. I feel like I'm wasting an opportunity. Something so rare and so limited shouldn't be wasted. Everyone will ask, "what did you do last night, on the warmest night so far?". There is a certain pressure involved. A pressure to enjoy.

Of course this isn't a new thing. It isn't even specific to this beautiful early weather. It tends to happen at some point every summer. There is after all only so much you can do. Sometimes your brain and your body need a break. It can be hard to accept and its been something i've been working on more and more each year. I spend a winter dreaming of this sort of weather and then once it gets here I often find myself feeling guilty about not making enough use of it. I begin to crave the slower pace and lifestyle in the tropics. It would seem like the lack of winter would be the key and I'm sure it has plenty to do with it, but more so its the lack of any summer guilt. When its beautiful out ever day then taking a day to rest and relax isn't such a big deal. Whatever it is you think you should be doing, well, you can do that tomorrow. No rush to prepare and plan, you can take your time, you'll always find a nice day. I find myself envying that pace of life. In the winter, well that's pretty obvious, but in the summer because I don't want to rush and I don't want the guilt.

Facebook, Instagram etc. and even my own brain paint a picture that everyone else it out there enjoying much more of the summer than I am. They are making better use of their time. Of course whether or not that is actually true is another story entirely. Regardless the picture is painted.

Today I could use a rest, an evening off to be with myself and recharge and that's what I intend to do. I feel that nudge of guilt deep down in my belly telling me everyone else is out there enjoying this warmest day. Giving me an early dose of that summer guilt. I'm going to do my best to let it go. Rushing and pushing and feeling guilty if I don't has never taken me anywhere. It's never resolved anything for me. Letting the world be, the weather be and most of all myself be is my path to a more peaceful and content place. Let the summer guilt go. This may not be paradise, there may not be endless days of summer but I can find my own place in today and then I'll do my best to do the same again tomorrow and maybe the summer guilt will fade away.